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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Commentary #228: Doctor Who – Resolution
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 14 Apr 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, driven, in front of 2019’s Doctor Who episode ‘Resolution’, and spout our usual nonsense! Aaron knows how to stall the plot, Lin is being taken for a ride and the Doctor has some serious skids. But enough of their problems, please sit down with […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #312: Wigs and the Rani
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 07 Apr 2019 08:15

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review the Sylvester McCoy’s debut Doctor Who story Time and the Rani, discuss the Sounds of Thunder audio Annual 2019, celebrate Fake Keith’s birthday, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #227: Doctor Who – Dimensions in Time
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 31 Mar 2019 13:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, baffled, in front of 1993’s Doctor Who 30th anniversary story ‘Dimensions in Time’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor is randomly swapping bodies, companions are coming and going and the Rani wants to visit the set of EastEnders. But enough of their problems, […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #311: An Earthly Marvel
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 24 Mar 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn review the Big Finish Doctor Who stories An Earthly Child and Relative Dimensions, discuss the 2019 Captain Marvel film, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:44 — Welcome! 01:35 […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #226: Doctor Who – The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 Mar 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, forgetting, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode ‘The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos’, and spout our usual nonsense! Paktraki’s memory is entirely plot driven, Graham is out for revenge and Lady Jane from Lovejoy lost her critical thinking millennia ago. But enough […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #310: Regressive Tendencies
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 10 Mar 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Jean Riddler, Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, take two Classic Doctor Who stories and rewrite them for the modern series, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:11 — Welcome! 02:03 – News: […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Celebrity Shocker: Forced Apart! Vader left holding the baby

In a shock announcement, the galaxy's favourite couple, Anakin and Padmé Skywalker have announced the breakdown of their marriage.
According to sources close to the family things haven't been right between the couple since the birth of their children.

Evil Emperor
"It's all his fault" said a friend of the family. "Everything was fine between the two until they discovered they were to have children. When he found out, he went off his head!"
This wouldn't be the first time that "Sullen" Skywalker has gone off the rails. As your News Of The Universes reported two years ago, Skywalker was investigated by officers of the Republic Police Force after a waitress at an Anchorhead café reported him behaving suspiciously.
"He walked in, covered in blood, carrying the head of a Tusken Raider. Dripping blood all over the floor, it was." said the young girl. She has since been offered a post with Chancellor Palpatine's office.
"I was very good to her" said the Chancellor.
"He was very good to me", said the waitress (Who for legal reasons can only be identified as "Miss. J").
"She owes everything to me" Palpatine added, modestly waving off any praise.
"I owe everything to him" said Miss. J.

Twins
"The twins mean everything to Mistress Padmé" said sources close to the family. "Oh my! I dread to think what will happen to them. And us. We're sure to be disassembled."
Fears have been raised after "Old Sulky Boots" Skywalker went on a 48 hour drinking binge with his friend and mentor, Jedi Knight Kenobi. Apparently the two fell out after Kenobi spilled Skywalker's pint. A fight ensued in which Skywalker came off the worse. Eyewitnesses stated that he left in a foul temper making veiled threats about his wife.
Padmé Skywalker has taken these threats seriously and moved to Alderaan. However, witnesses at the spaceport said that she only arrived with one of the twins. It has been assumed that Skywalker has insisted on visiting rights and that it was "his weekend".
A statement from Annakin Skywalker's press office states that the marriage is considered dead by Skywalker. As are Padmé, the twins, "those bloody 'droids and any planet stupid enough to shelter them all!"
All this couldn't have happened at a worse time for "Stroppy" Skywalker. He has just taken on a new job as Chancellor Palpatine's right hand man. Yesterday, at the Dorchester, Annakin relaunched himself in a bid to keep his popularity.
"Call me Vader" he grinned from behind the plastic gimp mask that completes the bizarre apparel he has decided on as his trademark. He refused to answer questions about the divorce, even though reporters kept firing questions at him. The press conference broke up shortly after due to several people choking. "Sorry about the fish bones in the salmon vol au vants" said Vader, before having to rush off to receive treatment for the asthema he was recently diagnosed with.

 

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