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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Commentary #224: Doctor Who – The Witchfinders
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 Feb 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, ducking, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode ‘The Witchfinders’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor gets herself tied up, Yaz has an encounter with a tentacle monster and Ryan has an unwelcome admirer. But enough of their problems, please sit down […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #308: Pearls Before Masters
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 10 Feb 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn discuss their visit to the Doctor Who convention ‘Science of the Time Lords’, listen to Big Finish’s The War Master: Only the Good, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:48 — […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #223: Doctor Who – Kerblam!
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 03 Feb 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, unboxing, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode ‘Kerblam!’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor is overexcited by the Kerblam Man, Graham’s become a professional scrubber and Twirly has taken up smoking. But enough of their problems, please sit down with us […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #307: The Irksome Doctors
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 27 Jan 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn debate each Doctor’s more irritating traits, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:09 — Welcome! 01:50 – News: 01:58 — Doctor Who: When the War Master Met the Eighth Doctor. 03:27 […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #222: Doctor Who – Demons of the Punjab
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 20 Jan 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, fated, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode ‘Demons of the Punjab’, and spout our usual nonsense! Yaz wants to interfere with her grandmother, Prem has his card marked and the Doctor walks away. But enough of their problems, please sit down with […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #306: Seasonal Ranking
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 13 Jan 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Jean Riddler and Keith Dunn discuss the 2019 Doctor Who New Year’s Special, rank the eleven ‘New Who’ Doctor Who series, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:40 — Welcome! 02:14 – News: 02:25 — […]

News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Celebrity Shocker: Forced Apart! Vader left holding the baby

In a shock announcement, the galaxy's favourite couple, Anakin and Padmé Skywalker have announced the breakdown of their marriage.
According to sources close to the family things haven't been right between the couple since the birth of their children.

Evil Emperor
"It's all his fault" said a friend of the family. "Everything was fine between the two until they discovered they were to have children. When he found out, he went off his head!"
This wouldn't be the first time that "Sullen" Skywalker has gone off the rails. As your News Of The Universes reported two years ago, Skywalker was investigated by officers of the Republic Police Force after a waitress at an Anchorhead café reported him behaving suspiciously.
"He walked in, covered in blood, carrying the head of a Tusken Raider. Dripping blood all over the floor, it was." said the young girl. She has since been offered a post with Chancellor Palpatine's office.
"I was very good to her" said the Chancellor.
"He was very good to me", said the waitress (Who for legal reasons can only be identified as "Miss. J").
"She owes everything to me" Palpatine added, modestly waving off any praise.
"I owe everything to him" said Miss. J.

Twins
"The twins mean everything to Mistress Padmé" said sources close to the family. "Oh my! I dread to think what will happen to them. And us. We're sure to be disassembled."
Fears have been raised after "Old Sulky Boots" Skywalker went on a 48 hour drinking binge with his friend and mentor, Jedi Knight Kenobi. Apparently the two fell out after Kenobi spilled Skywalker's pint. A fight ensued in which Skywalker came off the worse. Eyewitnesses stated that he left in a foul temper making veiled threats about his wife.
Padmé Skywalker has taken these threats seriously and moved to Alderaan. However, witnesses at the spaceport said that she only arrived with one of the twins. It has been assumed that Skywalker has insisted on visiting rights and that it was "his weekend".
A statement from Annakin Skywalker's press office states that the marriage is considered dead by Skywalker. As are Padmé, the twins, "those bloody 'droids and any planet stupid enough to shelter them all!"
All this couldn't have happened at a worse time for "Stroppy" Skywalker. He has just taken on a new job as Chancellor Palpatine's right hand man. Yesterday, at the Dorchester, Annakin relaunched himself in a bid to keep his popularity.
"Call me Vader" he grinned from behind the plastic gimp mask that completes the bizarre apparel he has decided on as his trademark. He refused to answer questions about the divorce, even though reporters kept firing questions at him. The press conference broke up shortly after due to several people choking. "Sorry about the fish bones in the salmon vol au vants" said Vader, before having to rush off to receive treatment for the asthema he was recently diagnosed with.

 

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