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Staggering Stories Podcast #317: Dalek Resurrections and Apocalyptic Revelations
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 16 Jun 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks and the Good Omens TV mini-series, have a 30 second recommendation, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:28 — Welcome! 02:39 – News: 02:46 […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #316: Landing the Ending
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 02 Jun 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Doctor Who: Black Orchid, discuss the ending to Game of Thrones, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:47 — Welcome! 02:23 – News: 02:32 — Doctor Who: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #315: Avengers Embiggened
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 19 May 2019 08:07

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Jean Riddler, Keith Dunn and Steven Clare discuss Avengers: Endgame, recall our time at The Capitol 4 Doctor Who convention, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:39 — Welcome! 02:48 – News: 03:02 — Doctor Who: Pertwee Embiggened. […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #314: Entering The Macra Zone
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 05 May 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Macra Terror, discuss their visit to the Ambassadors Theatre to see The Twilight Zone stage play, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:05 — Welcome! 03:08 – Doctor Who: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #313: The Other Captain Marvel
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 21 Apr 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review the 2019 film Shazam!, come up with some Doctor Who ideas for Big Finish, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:49 — Welcome! 02:35 – News: 02:46 — […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #228: Doctor Who – Resolution
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 14 Apr 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, driven, in front of 2019’s Doctor Who episode ‘Resolution’, and spout our usual nonsense! Aaron knows how to stall the plot, Lin is being taken for a ride and the Doctor has some serious skids. But enough of their problems, please sit down with […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

The Teletubby Files Teletubby Terror!

Out-there FBI Agents Mulder and Scully met their match yesterday when they investigated the lovable alien menace of the Teletubbies.

Special Agent Dr. Dana Scully, voted 'Worlds Sexiest Sceptic' for three years running in the mid 1990's by Trouser Suit Monthly, yet again denied the existence of aliens - instead suggesting the Teletubbies were really drunken dirty old men in costumes, who just wanted to impress young women in pubs. Scully's partner, Special Agent Fox Mulder, well known for his outrageous explanations that fly in the face of all reason, predictably suggested a more convoluted idea: "I believe these creatures are not only Extra-Terrestrial Biological Entities but they are also working in collusion with a shadow organisation within both our government and that of the UK to seed the idea of Extra-Terrestrials in the minds of our young - to prepare our children to worship and act as slaves when the inevitable invasion comes!"

Little has previously been known of the Teletubbies. Rumours persist that their famous craft is buried in the remains of a Hobbit town, after the colourful aliens forced the unfortunate midgets from their homes. Particularly scurrilous rumours even suggest that the Teletubbies took the Hobbits into slavery before selling them on to George Lucas in 1975, who has since used them in his Star Wars films and even hired them out to the sinister pie company Ginsters for a set of adverts.

At the showdown in the remote location, now known as Teletubbyland, a mysterious disembodied voice was heard saying "Over the hills and far away, Teletubbies come to play..." before the giant aliens attacked the two FBI agents.

Mulder recalls: "They all said something like 'eh-oh' and suddenly they were on us. The big burly one, Twinky Winky I think, struck me across the side of my head with his handbag. Scully was knocked down by Laa-Laa's large inflatable ball and Dipsy began splashing all over her with his 'Teletubby Custard'..."

Scully was last seen being carried away on a scooter by smallest Teletubby, Po, less than assisted by the bizarre vacuum cleaner being known only as the Noo-Noo, that allegedly was acquiring a taste for clothes.

Mulder continues: "I had to get out of there quick, they were trying to make me into 'Tubby Toast' with a Big Hug... I didn't even have time to pick up my cell phone. Scully didn't get a chance to do that alien autopsy she was looking forward to..."

Some have suggested that Scully went partly willingly with the Teletubbies, fed up of her rational theories turning out to be wrong every single week against Mulder's almost impossibly improbable ideas. Friends of the red headed agent quote Scully: "Just once! Just once in eight years - is that too much to ask?!"

Either way, the fate of Agent Scully is still in doubt as Mulder and his superior, Assistant Director 'Skinman' Skinner, prepare for a daring raid to retrieve the kidnapped colleague because, as Mulder puts it, "We love each other very much!"