Recent Blog Entries

Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #304: The Battle of Rancid Old Koalas
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 16 Dec 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn discuss two Doctor Who stories: It Takes You Away and The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos, pull some Christmas crackers, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #219: Doctor Who – Rosa
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 09 Dec 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, segregated, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode, ‘Rosa’, and spout our usual nonsense! Ryan is feeling the sting of history, Graham doesn’t want to be there and the Doctor cannot stop this injustice. But enough of their problems, please sit down with […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #303: The Louboutin Finders
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 02 Dec 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn discuss two Doctor Who stories: Kerblam! and The Witchfinders, give a 30 Second Recommendation, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:42 — Welcome! 02:16 – News: 02:26 — Doctor […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #218: Doctor Who – The Ghost Monument
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 25 Nov 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, trekking, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode ‘The Ghost Monument’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor is searching for her baby, Ryan is screaming like a little girl and Epzo is sleeping a lot. But enough of their problems, please sit […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #302: A Villain Conundrum?
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 18 Nov 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn discuss two Doctor Who stories: The Tsuranga Conundrum and Demons of the Punjab, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:39 — Welcome! 01:50 – News: 01:59 — Doctor Who: Paternoster Gang to be […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #217: Doctor Who – The Woman Who Fell to Earth
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Nov 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, regenerated, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who premiere episode, ‘The Woman Who Fell to Earth’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor cannot remember her own name, Ryan launches a bike and Tim Shaw gets a faceful of salad. But enough of their […]

Buccaneer Chronicles

The Buccaneer Chronicles:
Vampire Mutations

By Karen Dunn (Despite Interference by Keith Dunn, Andy Simpkins, Adam J Purcell and Tony Gallichan)


Chapter Fourteen - The Computer

 

“Password”

"I have seen Macfadyan argue with the Ship when it fails to live up to his expectations. I have seen Captain Curtis thump the food machine when it serves him egg salad instead of the requested tea and crumpets. I have seen Blanche glare at the console when it beeps at her and makes her jump. I have seen all these things and heard them all say the same thing with varying degrees of venom but this is the first time I have ever understood what 'bloody machine' means.”

* You are familiar with me - a password is unnecessary. *

“Password”

Cre'at sighed and wasted a valuable second meeting the machine's request.

“Greetings, Cre'at”

* Greetings. I require your assistance. *

“Ready.”

* Three point seven two kilometres to the east is a Ship. You must make contact. *

“Done.”

* Excellent. *

“It is a very rude machine.”

* I am aware of this. *

“Why would a construction of such high quality use a term such as 'butt out'?”

* My apologies - Blanche has become fond of American soap operas and some of the terms have corrupted the Ship's vocal systems *

“You should repair it - it is most unbecoming.”

* I shall endeavour to do so. *

“Acceptable.”

* Are you able to access the Ship's defence systems? *

“A password is required.”

Cre'at sighed: * The password is 'fluffy'. *

“In what way?”

* You misunderstand. The password is 'fluffy'. *

“But...”

* Just tell it 'fluffy'! *

“Access granted. You should also repair the password generator. Such misunderstandings could prove troublesome.”

* I am aware of this, also. I shall suggest changes. *

“Also acceptable. Instructions?”

* A forcefield is required. It must cover the area from the Ship to include the town. It must exceed the height of the trees. Maximum strength. *

“Done.”

* Excellent. Maintain the forcefield until otherwise instructed. *

“Naturally.”

* Bloody machine... *

Leaving the Psych-comp to its task, Cre'at left the house and zipped back through the trees towards the town.

***

The Tower

Vampire Mutations: Chapter Fifteen